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Top Regrets of the Dying

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Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Anita on Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:02 am

Someone shared a very interesting article with me.
A nurse recorded the most common wishes from her patients, who were elderly people about to pass away. What did she find?

The Guardian wrote:Top five regrets of the dying


A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of life?



Susie Steiner

There
was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until
they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone
misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Crying or Very sad What an article...

What would you regret having/not having done before death?
What are you doing now so as to guarantee there is nothing to regret right before you pass away?

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Nicole on Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:30 am

I think you can do all what you think is important but when the time come and you must die there are other things important for you.
I would life my live for the moment and not for the day I must die.

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Anita on Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:33 pm

I Agree You're totally right!
I think there will always be regrets before dying, because life will never be enough for all the things we want to do, or even the things other people expect us to do. geek

I think, as you mentioned, we must live our present in order to enrich our present and construct our future. It would be such as pity, just as the article reflects, that we didn't do things that we were actually capable to do. For example, I've always dreamed of playing a musical instrument to make my dear beings happy. That's one of the things, apart from having travelled, that I would truly feel sorry about not doing!

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by MusicElf on Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:57 pm

What a Face I would regret dying single, with no children and with a lot of money. However, that is not going to happen. Why?

Because I will never have a lot of money!

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Anita on Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:40 pm

Now we're two...!!

Now that you deal with that point, and as the article says, I'm sure it must be devastating to know that you spent your whole life working like a bee to accumulate money and, in the end, not having spent it in order to make your life and other people's lives better. That must be infuriating!
Nothing like spending a life with balance and joy, thinking of the present and the future! So don't kill yourself at work. Work with commitment and responsibility, not as a slave!

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Cereal Killer on Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:04 pm

That is what happens to the tycoons, who end up leaaving all their money and wealth to their pets. LOL!
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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by MusicElf on Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:09 pm

Ha! I thought of the same example. Laughing
Another thing I would regret is not to say thank you and goodbye to my family and friends before dying. well, Anyway, if I die, will regret it no more Laughing but anyway I hope to tell them what I feel in time!

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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by Anita on Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:16 am


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Re: Top Regrets of the Dying

Post by MusicElf on Sat Jan 19, 2013 9:21 pm

Great summary! Cheesy

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